Have you ever read a post about someone else and their issues and you immediately feel defensive? “It’s probably not that bad, I’m sure there was a reason for it, well I like it actually?”

I’ve just felt that just now (actually it was a couple of days ago when I wrote this but I didn’t post it then) and it’s amazing how it’s really about me and not the person posting.

This is something I’ve also struggled with at home. My wife might be struggling with something and rather than acknowledge her struggle, I can go into defence mood and try to make sure she’s not blaming me. By minimising the issue or proving it’s not my fault, she doesn’t get what she was really looking for.

It can be real hard not to kick into that self-focused reaction but in my experience, it makes a massive difference.