One of the greatest ironies in the world is that to be more selfless, we have to be at least a little selfish.

  • If we gave away all our food, we would starve and no longer be able to share any food evermore.
  • If we said yes to every request, we’d have conflicts and let some people down.
  • If we neglect ourselves, we will neglect others.

In order to give and continue to give, we need to take what we need.

But it’s that final part that I always wonder about — what we need. Personally, and I don’t think I’m alone here, there are some parts of my life where I horde more than I need, while there are other areas where I am terrible at making sure I get and keep what I do need.

For example, I am fantastic at making sure I have time to scroll some endless feed (this has emerged as a problem again recently) and yet terrible at getting the quiet downtime I need. Yes, those two are related and I didn’t plan that before writing, but it’s a great serendipitous insight.

I fear that sometimes I can too often use this as an excuse for areas where I most need to be more generous but not learn the lesson in areas where I should.

And that’s the paradox. There are areas where we need to be more selfish, but they’re not the areas where we are naturally selfish.